Bayne of My Existence
by FranklyMyDear89
Summary: Boone has found himself in a uniquely impossible situation. Not only did he fall for his Courier, he unwittingly followed her to the ends of the Earth - and beyond. Now they're both working as mercs with an old crew of hers...and sharing a bed with her old flame. Can he handle the warring feelings being drudged up by the ever-confusing Jayne Cobb...or will he continue to run away?
1. Chapter 1

Quick Background

Frank is a universal character that I've reused quite a few times. Any odd references to things that don't make sense to you are most likely from past stories, which I'm too lazy to either explain or write around. The main one, which is available for your perusal, is the sort-of-prequel to this story, But She's A Guy. If you're like me, and you're just reading this for the super steamy sex scenes, here's a recap: Frank posed as a man in order to enter the merc business, caught the eye of Jayne after joining the crew, had a very complicated sexual relationship that eventually led to him finding out she was a girl and that they were in love. This is where the crossover starts. In between that story and this one, Frank died, but since she's some sort of magical freak, she got sent to New Vegas where she befriended Boone, kicked the Legion's ass, and somehow got thrown, with Boone, back into the Firefly world (smelling a lot of if coming off this plan). Since then, the three of them have started yet another complicated relationship, due to the fact that no one was willing to give anybody up so the others could be happy. Sounds interesting? Too bad. It's staying as a dialogue on my PC.

So assuming you're still here, 'cause frankly, I wouldn't be, try not to be too confused and just accept the premise as a great excuse for a juicy threesome involving two gorgeous hunks we all love and pine after. Oh, and if you _are_ just here for the smexing and don't give a fuck about plotlines, feel free to skip ahead to chapter six. No one would blame you.

~Frankly My Dear…

-/-/-

One

Frank sauntered into the room, his nonchalance belying the fact that he truly belonged in this world. It was any man's fantasy: a wall of firearms on one side, complete with benches and tables set up for maintenance and modification purposes, a makeshift gym and weight station on the other, with leather couches and armchairs in the middle for those not honing their weapons or their bodies. Sweat, beer and gun oil permeated the air, making for a macho potpourri.

Frank, however, barely registered any of this. His eyes zeroed in on the activity in the far corner, and quietly popped every knuckle in his hands as they clenched into fists. His chest tightened and his stomach dropped. His desire to destroy the entire room and everyone in it was nearly impossible to resist, especially when the grunting picked up volume, but he forced himself to stay where he was for the moment. Control was key.

He relaxed slightly as he saw a man approaching him, the casual swagger something he was used to seeing. "Thomas, you sumbitch," he said amicably, reaching out to grip his old friend's forearm. "How long's it been?"

Thomas grinned, reminding Frank how much the man enjoyed his line of work as the creases around his mouth deepened and fell into place. "You mean since you ran off and took the best gig in the 'verse, leaving me to rot on the Rim? Too ruttin' long, asswipe."

Frank nodded to the corner in the back. "Looks like I left just in time if that's what you're doing to new recruits," he commented darkly. It was difficult to conceal his distaste. Even harder to not start swinging.

Thomas turned, giving a derisive snort as he watched for a moment. The angle was just so that you couldn't really tell who was involved, but it wasn't hard to figure out that one of the men involved wasn't there voluntarily, tied as he was to a hook on the wall. "Nah," Thomas offered with a dismissive wave of his hand. "He ain't one of ours. Tried to take a job that weren't his, so now he's learning a lesson." He considered Frank for a moment, assessing his reaction to the statement. "You want a go?" he finally offered. He knew Frank didn't normally participate in such recreations, but hey. The Black can change a man.

Frank paused, looking thoughtful. Finally he sighed. "Why not?" he shrugged noncommittally. "Trim's been hard to come by recently." A blatant fucking lie, but good ole Tommy Boy didn't need to know that. Better that he didn't see what was coming.

Thomas nodded, feeling pleased his friend was finally living the lifestyle in the full. He'd had his reservations about the merc. Always seemed to stick his nose in the air when it came to the darker aspects of the trade. "We've all had a go or two, so you can go when Jim's done." He began to head for the couches, expecting Frank to join him. "If you don't mind me asking, what brings you back?"

Frank remained standing, although he did position himself closer to the two men in the corner. "The usual," was all he offered.

Thomas propped his feet up on a low table, chuckling to himself. "Yeah, money always has us crawling back, don't it?"

Frank didn't answer, his view of the corner better than it had been thus far, and now that he could see _everything_, he couldn't look away. Jim, he presumed, was the man closest to him, and had his eyes screwed shut, murmuring something under his breath like he was completely lost in a fantasy. The other man, however, stared straight ahead, his face stony and eyes tight. He was doing his best to breathe normally, like that would make everything just a bad dream. It was his face that Frank couldn't turn from.

Jim sped up again, chasing whatever it was he was seeking, and the other man grunted despite himself as his hips were jerked so violently, the rope around his raised arms dug into his wrists and Frank could see blood. That did it. Frank was on Jim and ripping him back before the thought had even crossed his mind. So much for control.

Jim stumbled, confused for a moment before finding himself indignant at being hefted by the collar with his straining _diao_ still hanging out the front of his pants. "_Cao,_ man, I wasn't done yet! Wait your rutting turn!"

Frank dodged his reaching hands as the man tried to dislodge him. Glancing around, he realized Thomas was the only one who had noticed the disturbance thus far, and he was simply looking on with mild curiosity. Frank nodded even though Jim couldn't see the movement, the calm action merely a facade as he boiled inside. "It _is_ my turn," he spat just loud enough for the man to hear. Lightning fast, he drew a heavy combat knife and slit Jim's throat.

Before the bastard crumpled to the ground, Frank had turned, dropped the knife and pulled out matching ten mill semi-autos, putting the first half a dozen bullets through the men who were closest to the armory. That's when all hell broke loose, and all Frank was aware of was the blur of motion around him and the guns in his hands. Thirty seconds later, the room was still, and only three men still breathing.

Coming out of his red haze of rage, Frank realized he was standing over his friend, his nearly empty piece trained on Thomas' skull as he steadily heaved air into his screaming lungs. Apparently breathing hadn't been important a minute ago. "H-hey now, Frank," Thomas stuttered, raising his arms in surrender. "You wouldn't kill an old friend, would ya?" he asked nervously.

Frank continued to stare at the man on the floor for a moment, watching as he flinched when the door flung open and three more fully armed people glided in. The captain, first mate, and hired gun. Thomas visibly shrank as it sunk in that he was now outnumbered. The newcomers swept the room, clearing it as they kicked away weapons and checked for pulses. Frank didn't move.

Mal couldn't believe his eyes. He'd known the merc he'd hired was good, but _this_... He'd rushed in as soon as heard the first shots, sure his man would be dead and that some revenge would be in order. Instead, there were at least a dozen seasoned mercs strewn across the floor, and Frank without a scratch on him. Only a demon could cause such destruction in mere seconds. He looked wided-eyed at the man, as though seeing him for the first time. "Frank?" he asked, uncertain what exactly he was asking.

That pulled the merc out of his reverie and his eyes fully cleared. Quietly, he de-cocked his gun, slowly putting it in his shoulder holster. "You're right," he said in answer to Thomas' question as he crouched down in front of the man at his feet. Holding his gaze, he repeated, "You are an old friend." He heard the sound of a knife being drawn and saw Thomas flick his gaze to the corner for a moment, finally understanding the reason for the unprecedented attack before whipping his eyes back to Frank. "For that reason alone, I'll let you live."

"Tha-" he started to breathe in relief, but Frank got in his face, leaning in further, a dangerous glint in his stare.

"You will learn another lesson today," he said, his low tone laced with cold malice.

"What's that, old friend?" Thomas managed to ask without his voice betraying him. He swallowed hard, waiting as Frank ensured he had his full attention.

"No one," he intoned, personifying the term _dead_ _serious_, "and I mean _no_ one, fucks Frank's partner. Dong ma?" The man nodded adamantly while Frank stared him straight in the eye. He stood before Thomas had the chance to explain that he hadn't known the man was his partner, turning his back on everyone still breathing. Even the man he'd just rescued. "Leave," was all he said after a moment, and Thomas didn't hesitate to scramble to his feet and beat it out the door, grateful for his fortune that evening. "Is he gone?"

Jayne looked up from where he was tending to the half conscious man in his arms. If it'd been _his_ friend, the man wouldn't be leaving of his own power. "Yeah, the _hundan_ is gone," he growled. Frank sighed, drawing his attention, and he watched as the man blurred before him. A moment later, his partner stood there, all curly brown hair and curves. Buddha but she was gorgeous, all covered in sweat and blood after a fight. He didn't mind the man, but it was the girl he'd fallen for.

She walked quickly over, ignoring Mal and Zoe as they shook their heads. They still either weren't used to, or didn't like the fact that Frank wore a glamour around them for so long. It was easy to forget after a while, but during moments like these, when she had to interact with older crowds who thought she was a man, the glamour was a necessary evil. Like today; they wouldn't have been able to penetrate this deep into a mercenary safe house without it. Jayne grimly admitted that they probably wouldn't have been able to save their other partner's life, either. It was too close a call in his book.

Frank put her hands on the man's arm, lifting it over her shoulders. "Come on, love," she murmured as together they helped him to his feet. Jayne hefted his other arm, not pointing out that he could have carried him out himself, but silently accepting that Frank needed to be a part of this. Hell, it might have even been because she didn't trust him. _And I mean _no_ one fucks Frank's partner._ Had that been a direct threat to _him_ instead of the other merc? Jayne flinched. It was bad enough knowing he'd been the one to put their partner in this situation, it was another entirely if Frank blamed him too. He didn't know what he'd do if they tried to exclude him now.

Mal took point, clearing the way back to the ship, allowing Zoe to cover their six to make sure no threats followed, but Jayne wasn't worried. Frank was a rutting _machine_ when it came to killing. There wouldn't be anyone else.

The rest of the crew met them at the airlock, save River who was at the ready to whisk them off to the safety of the Black. Simon stepped forward, pulling a gurney at his side, and assisted as they lowered the injured man onto it. They were all somber and for once silent as they rolled him into the welcoming belly of Serenity.


	2. Chapter 2

-/-/-

Two

Boone groaned under his breath as he felt someone messing with his ass again, pulling him out of his blessed state of unconsciousness. He'd been out of it, he knew that, but he'd been almost certain the worst was over. Hadn't people come to extract him? The crew, he thought?

He listened as an exasperated sigh echoed above him. Well, behind him, really, since he just realized he was laying on his stomach on what felt like a metal table. "I really hoped I would never have to do this again," came Simon's tired voice. He felt prodding again, but it was different than his attack. Cotton and latex accompanied the smell of an antiseptic and he understood that there was a non-sinister reason he was face down on a table. He was in the infirmary, back on the ship. He let go of a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding.

"You and me both," he heard Frank say in a sympathetic tone. "How bad is the damage?"

"Not as bad as it could have been, though I'm more concerned over the emotional trauma he's suffered."

"Rape is a nasty thing," she murmured in agreement. Boone felt heat across his face. He hadn't thought of it as rape until now. Fuck, but that made him sound like a woman. Simon gave an unbelieving harrumph and Frank smacked him. Boone didn't understand the exchange, but it seemed relatively companionable, so his muddled mind chose to ignore it for the moment. All he knew was that whatever the doc was doing back there, it was soothing now, and he felt the muscles in his back finally start to relax. He began to drift off again, too exhausted to contemplate why he was getting a hard on.


	3. Chapter 3

-/-/-

Three

"He lives," Frank murmured from the doorway of the infirmary, her tone pleased and relieved all at once. Boone was sitting up in the examination chair, rubbing at his bandaged wrists, and he looked up in surprise when he heard her voice. Jayne barreled past her at the quiet announcement, earning himself a small chuckle from her, before taking up his post on the right side of Boone's chair. Kaylee squealed and ran to get the others.

"So it would seem," Boone commented sardonically. He vaguely remembered Jayne being there during his extraction from the mercenary base, but his first thoughts of the man were unsurprisingly of when and why he'd left in the first place, and he did his best to neither flinch nor flush at his now close proximity. "Aren't you pissed at me?" he asked the merc in clarification.

Jayne frowned. "Pissed? Man, I'm just glad ta see ya breathin'." He nodded to Boone's wrists. "Doc need ta give ya more pain killers?"

Boone dropped his hands and shook his head, both in response to the question and the man's obvious concern. That was not the reaction he'd been expecting.

Frank approached on the other side and took his hand in hers. "We're glad to have you back, love," she said quietly as the others piled in to greet the recovering crewman. There were well wishes and friendly threats about future mishaps, and after a few minutes Simon ushered everyone out, including his two partners, and Boone was left with his thoughts.

The last few days - scratch that, make it a week - were more than surreal, now that he looked back. His fight with Jayne, his abrupt departure, the job going to hell, his capture and torture, and the rescue. Did all that really happen in such a short amount of time?

And had anything really changed? Yeah, he was back, but that didn't mean the problem from before would just go away. Hell, it was hard to even picture what the problem was in his own mind. Not so much because he was a prude or anything, which he really wasn't, but because of what it would say about him if he didn't have a problem in the first place.

No, the best course of action right now was to not think about it, and to just wait it out. He'd sit around playing patient a little while longer, and then he'd sneak off to a passenger bunk. Happy with his new plan, he settled back into his chair.


	4. Chapter 4

-/-/-

Four

Jayne paced the length of the bunk, aware that Frank was watching him and getting more and more annoyed by the minute. Knowing her, she had experience with something like this and therefore could sit there all calm and collected like, but not sharing that information was a blatant breach of their partnership. He didn't have a rutting clue what to do, and _gorram_ it, he could use her help! "Ya just gonna sit there?" he finally asked mid- turn.

Frank sighed. "What do you want to hear, Jayne? Boone has the right to not be here if he doesn't want to be."

"Well ain't there a way to make 'm come back? Let 'm know he's welcome?" he asked in exasperation. This wasn't like a normal fight. Boone left, and even now that he was back, he wasn't really back since he was staying in a passenger bunk. At least Frank came back with him instead of running off too. Though if he were truthful, which he wasn't all that often, he would admit that even Frank just wasn't enough anymore. No, there had to be some kind of fix-all that would bring things back to the way they were before.

Frank stood, muttering something under her breath that sounded vaguely like Russian. Jayne flinched, knowing she reserved that for when she was about to hurt someone and that _he_ was the closest target. "You both are hopeless," she exclaimed. "Neither one of you have the balls to admit what you want."

Jayne bristled. "Ya both know what I want, I stated it clear as day. That's what got us inta this mess."

Frank shook her head. "You may think you know what you want, but you haven't even scratched the surface of _why_ you want it." And without another word, she climbed the ladder and slammed the hatch behind her. Jayne stood a moment longer in confusion, not understanding what she'd meant, before he turned and started pacing again.

It was going to be a _long_ day.


	5. Chapter 5

-/-/-

Five

Boone knew it had only been about thirty six hours since his last meal, that in the desert, he'd gone much longer without putting anything in his stomach, but when he put chopstick to mouth, he couldn't stop. Protein mash had never tasted so good. Mal chuckled. "Good to see you've still got an appetite there," he said jovially, and the rest of the table murmured their agreement. It was the first meal since rescuing the newest merc, and everyone was happy to be having it together. No one talked about the incident, almost out of an unspoken agreement, instead moving the topics to happier times, mostly reminiscing about Wash and the Shepherd. Boone was glad. While he'd have liked to know the men, he didn't, and so the conversation required very little from him, and he could shovel in peace.

Frank to his left was a comforting presence, he decided, mostly because she sat between him and Jayne, meaning he didn't have to worry about accidentally catching his eye or touching him. He still hadn't come to a conclusion one way or the other about the man, and he didn't want to have to deal with the conflicting feelings roiling around inside himself.

Still, just having Jayne in the same room with himself and Frank kept him flashing back to their fight and, though he didn't like to admit it, to the moments just before the fight. He could feel himself leaning over Frank, working inside her, and the quiet presence of Jayne just behind him. Running his hands up and down his back. Moving them over his hips to brush against his cock still moving in and out of Frank. Dipping into her, making it tighter. Withdrawing and moving behind him again, fingers now slick and probing. At the time he'd wanted to break each and every one of those fingers, but had sufficed with beating Jayne with his fists until Frank ripped him back.

Now though, thinking back on it, he didn't feel that rage anymore. Which made the whole fucking thing that much more confusing. He jerked his thoughts away from that subject, repressing the arousal he was feeling and hating it. Of all the things that might be said of Boone, queer would not be one of them. He stood abruptly, effectively stopping whatever conversation was happening with his scraping chair. He nodded to Frank, a silent 'excuse me,' and cleared his plate.

"Uh, hey," Jayne said quickly before the sniper could disappear. "We're cleaning pieces after dinner. You get to any a yers yet?"

Boone thought for a moment, debating if he should lie or not. He caught the smile Frank was trying to suppress, unsuccessfully, and realized how much he'd missed her company the last few days. If she was gonna be there, he supposed he could put up with Jayne's presence. "No," he admitted.

"We're a little low on Hoppe's, so bring what ya got," Frank interjected, clearing her own plate. The normalcy soothed Boone, and he quickly forgot his contradicting thoughts. It would be good to get back into routine.

Frank allowed herself to chuckle as he nodded and left the room to go get his supplies. "Great minds," she muttered, knowing what Jayne was planning - as well as where he got the idea from. She ignored the raised eyebrow he sent her way, and headed to their bunk to gather her own weapon maintenance.


	6. Chapter 6

-/-/-

Six

Frank was shocked the two men were able to remain silent the whole hour and a half they spent cleaning firearms. Especially when she'd maneuvered it so that the two were seated next to each other with her on the other side of the table facing them. Not even the accidental graze of fingers when they both reached for the gun oil at the same time seemed capable of jarring them out of their separate reveries. She sighed, knowing once again it would be up to her to set things straight, albeit with less force than last time.

Without prelude, she stood up and walked around the table, glad the movement got both men's attention. She pushed both their guns across the worn wooden surface and proceeded to sit in Boone's lap, her arms looped over his shoulders. His surprise showed in his eyes before his hands found their familiar spot around her waist. Looking into those deep baby blues, she said with a husky voice, "Jayne, touch me."

They both heard the slow scrape of Jayne's chair as he scooted closer, but they didn't break eye contact. Boone saw the challenge there, the unspoken question. _Could he handle the three of them together again?_ Pausing for only a moment, he steeled himself and placed his lips to her neck, not far from where Jayne's hands were wandering. Her sigh of pleasure was enough to spring him into action, and his hands also began to roam. "Missed you," he whispered in her ear, nearly choking on the emotion as he realized the truth of it. He'd been a fool to think he could walk away from her, even if their relationship wasn't his ideal.

Frank put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him full on the mouth, swallowing his gasp in response to his confession. She moaned as Jayne found that sweet spot on her neck and sucked hard, making her brain spin in overload. Yes, she thought with conviction. This was what all three of them needed, and if need be, she would make _herself_ the glue to hold them together.

"Boone, please," she begged on a soft breath against his lips.

"Tell me, baby," he answered without thought, needing to give her the whole goddamn universe if she asked for it.

"I need you both so badly."

Boone almost blanched at the mention of Jayne too. If he was going to have second thoughts, now was the time to have them.

Jayne, however, was not conflicted. Pulling her shoulder backwards, he leaned over her, pressing their mouths together. With his free hand, though, he reached instead for Boone's hand on her waist and squeezed the other man's fingers between his. It was a silent gesture, so iconic for men of action, and Boone felt his betraying body respond to it, even as his mind was screaming no. But the moment of panic passed as Jayne used his grip to drag Boone's hand up to Frank's breast, making them squeeze the firm flesh together. Once again, the action felt normal, almost, and he found comfort in it. He wasn't so much holding a man's hand as he was massaging a very female tit. Yes, this was something he could handle.

"Not to put a damper on the mood," Jayne mumbled against Frank's shoulder, "but we might wanna think 'bout movin' this to a more private setting before I start rippin' everyone's clothes off."

There it was again, that twinge of panic and excitement when Jayne included him in his desires. Like it was a given that he would be attracted to him too. He knew both of them were straight, one look at either of them with Frank and you knew that, but could they also be bi? Together? Boone shook his head and started to pull his hand away. "I -"

"Ya fall off a horse, ya get right back on," Jayne said, meeting his eyes over Frank's shoulder. "I know ya been thru a lot, but ya ain't even given me a chance to show ya how bad I feel fer putting ya thru it."

Boone blinked. "I'm not getting in bed with you just because you feel guilty," he countered.

"Think I don't know that?" Jayne said low. "Yeah, there's things I need ta make right 'tween you an' me, but it ain't about the guilt." He frowned, struggling to find the words. "I didn't like ya bein' gone. Not just in bed, but all of it. Yer my partner now too, and I need ya here." He moved his hand up to grip Boone's arm. "I..." he trailed off. Boone looked away before he could see the words that weren't being said. It would be wishful thinking, if you could even call it that.

"Alright," Boone said quietly. "I'm here. Just don't feel like you owe me." It was bad enough having the incident mentioned, he didn't want any special treatment because of it.

Frank, who'd been silent through the exchange, perked up. "You mean you'll come back to the bunk with us?" she asked hopefully. Boone nodded and she threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. It was rare for her to show such emotion outside of the bedroom, but it warmed him that she wanted him that badly. Part of him thought she'd just give up on him and stick with Jayne in his absence without really missing him.

Jayne stood, snatched up Frank who gave an indignant oomph, and said, "Well then, let's get going." Boone gathered the various firearms they'd been working on and followed behind his two partners, smirking at Frank who huffed at being manhandled. He knew she wasn't really complaining though; she enjoyed the caveman tendencies of her partners.


	7. Chapter 7

-/-/-

Seven

Once in the bunk with the hatch latched and locked, Jayne tossed Frank onto the bed. "Go ahead and strip, darlin', but you'll be sitting by yerself fer a minute." He then turned to Boone, who was looking at him strangely as he put away the guns, not understanding the remark. "Got a few things ta say, and you'll hear 'em out. Dong ma?" Boone nodded, but felt his unease growing. One on one was exactly where the two of them ran into trouble. "Ya know I like women folk. Frank c'n tell ya, I've been with more'n my fair share a working girls. You've seen me with her, too."

Boone shifted nervously, knowing where this was going. "There a point you plan on getting to?"

Jayne ground his teeth, not liking being sassed. "Sit your smart ass down before I get the mind ta spank it," he threatened. He waited while Boone contemplated calling the bluff, but eventually he took his seat on the edge of the bed and Jayne could continue. "Told ya right off that I'd been with men folk before. I was younger and trying to figure out my wants, but it didn't take too long figuring out I liked women better. Gotta say, I never really looked back until you."

Boone thought about bolting for it. He had no desire to listen to another man talking about wanting to fuck him. He glanced at the ladder, muscles primed for the quick dash out of the room. He looked back to Jayne and instantly knew that his train of thought was no longer a private one. He tried not to flinch at the look of pain in the other man's eyes. "It's not me you want," he mumbled defensively, "It's just the third body in your threesome."

Jayne sighed heavily, fighting his need to pace. "Ya ain't getting it. It ain't _a_ body I'm wanting, it's _yers." _ He saw Boone shaking his head, looking to the hatch again. This was going to hell. "Fine," he grumbled, tired of all this _gossuh_. He crossed the bunk, past Boone, and climbed on top of Frank, needing a distraction. He knew she knew he was just going through the motions, just for the gratification, but she stayed quiet, and he was grateful.

Boone buried the anger he felt at seeing him use Frank like that, still unwilling to continue with the discussion. He sat back, just watching for a moment as Jayne grabbed her hair, devouring her throat. If he jumped in now, he knew it would come down to playing tug of war with her, and he didn't want to do that either. He could admit the heat spreading through his belly, though, when she gasped and spread her legs wider, waiting impatiently as the merc doffed his clothing. Maybe for just this once he could be the spectator. He reached for his own belt and let his now throbbing cock out of the confines of his pants.

Jayne wanted more than anything to completely ignore the sniper sitting on the other end of the bed, but that seemed to make him even more hyper sensitive of the man. He smelled his male arousal mixing in the air with his, and he shuddered, wishing he was the cause of it. Well at least that meant he was paying attention now, and he could give him a show. He tilted Frank's hips higher, resting his sizable cock between her ass cheeks. "Ass or pussy?" he demanded. She glanced in Boone's direction, but he squeezed her thighs and her gaze returned. "Don't look at him. I'm asking ya where ya want it."

Frank hesitated, not out of fear or worry, but true indecision. Jayne was mad, and while he was fully capable of hurting her, she could easily handle it. Besides, she had a feeling he was really asking her to show Boone how good it could be. But did she really have the right to try and manipulate him like that? If Boone wasn't interested, he didn't have to be involved in something like that. She bit her lip, debating within herself while the two men waited. Taking a leap of faith, she finally answered softly, "Take my ass."

Raw lust flashed across Jayne's face and he ground against her for a second. "How long's it been?" he asked, reaching for the side table with the stuff.

"Since our last," she murmured. Jayne shot her an I-don't-understand look and she expounded, "Thirty years or so."

Jayne let out a primal growl. "_Cao_, girl, yer gonna be so ruttin' tight." He lubed up a finger and slipped it inside her, causing both of them close their eyes at the sensation. "Remember how good it was?" Her muscles twitched, telling him yes, she did remember and he began working the second finger inside.

"Take it slow," she warned, though the pain was only minimal. He tweaked her nipple with his free hand, causing her to gasp and he slipped in a little further. Already, pleasure was mixing in, and she was sure she'd lose her mind by the end of it. "Fuck, that's good," she moaned, reaching back to fist the sheets on either side of her head. When she began grinding back on his fingers, he slowly added a third, using his thumb to push rhythmically against her clit. Her moans were borderline screams now.

Boone couldn't believe how wanton Frank looked, lost in the pleasure Jayne was giving her. His eyes travelled down to where the merc's fingers were disappearing into Frank's tight hole, saw the look of concentration as he made sure he didn't hurt her. Without meaning to, Boone imagined himself in her position, at the mercy of all that power and control, free to lose himself in the sensation. His cock jumped at the thought, and while it disturbed him, he let it go for the moment, not wanting to sacrifice the orgasm he was nearly on the edge of. He understood now, why Jayne always liked to watch.

Frank arched her back, crying out as the world fell apart around her. She lost track of time, only coming back when she felt the fourth finger breach her. Dear God, he wasn't even done prepping her and she'd already cum. Her face flamed, realizing Boone was taking all of this in right next to her. She forced her eyes open, seeking him out before the pleasure took her under again. She groaned, seeing him jacking off furiously to the sight of her coming undone. She began to reach for him, but Jayne swatted her hand away. "Don't touch 'm," he commanded. "In fact," he added on a growl, facing the sniper completely, "don't touch yerself neither. Ya don't get ta cum until I say ya can. Dong ma?"

Boone paused, almost opening his mouth to tell him no, but Jayne leveled an impressive glare at him and he remained quiet. Slowly, he forced his hands to his sides, leaving his dick where it was. Jayne licked his lips and nodded his approval before turning back to Frank.

"Wha'da ya think, darlin'," he asked huskily, waiting to continue until her eyes focused on him again. "How adventurous do ya feel?"

Frank blinked, taking in his lusty gaze and cocky smirk, and realized what he was referring to. "Fuck yeah," she breathed, fisting the sheets again and grinding into his fingers. "You won't break me."

"You heard 'r," Jayne whooped, sliding out of her and pulling her up to a sitting position before flipping her around. "Kneel right here," he said, motioning to her front. This time he let her reach for Boone and pull him closer as she ripped off his shirt. The man had a distrusting look on this face, but it was quickly replaced with the lust that took over when Frank straddled his hips and sunk onto him. Fuck, but she always felt incredible wrapped around his cock. It took everything in him not to shoot his load just from the sensation of being in her. But Boone sure as hell wasn't a man to back down from a challenge.

Jayne knelt directly behind her, grabbing Boone's waist in warning when he started to move. He was inclined to argue again, but then Frank was kissing him, and he stopped caring about Jayne being the one giving orders anymore. Then something amazing happened. Frank's pussy turned into a vice around him, and a wonderful sliding sensation made its way up the back of his cock. His eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head before he could drag them open again. He was looking into not only Frank's eyes, but Jayne's as well.

Frank was right; she _was_ going to lose her mind before the end. She was so stretched, so _full_ with those two monster cocks inside her, she thought the very fabric of reality was about to burst open. She whimpered as Jayne pulled back out slightly, sending lightning behind her eyelids. Boone, holding her hips with a death grip, swallowed the sound with his own guttural moan.

"Ya feel it?" Jayne breathed against Frank's temple, looking directly at Boone. "Ya feel how good we fit tagether?" He set a quick, shallow pace that left everyone panting. Boone had to admit, as he stared into Jayne's eyes, felt their pricks sliding against each other inside that hot willing body of their partner, he was more than aware of how well they all fit together.

"I - " Boone started to gasp, but his brain was on the fritz now, and he couldn't keep track of what he was trying to say. He wasn't given much of a chance, either, as Jayne reached around, grabbed the back of his neck and pressed their lips together. He didn't have time to be confused or appalled; his orgasm hit him like a freight train, and it was all he could do not to collapse from the intensity of it. Frank fell over her own precipice nearly simultaneously, Jayne riding both of them until he too found his end.

There was a moment of silence when no one moved save to breathe.

Jayne recovered first, pulling out of Frank slowly while he kissed her shoulder. She hummed in appreciation of the tender gesture and leaned heavily on Boone, who showed no desire to return to reality. "Damn, you guys," she whispered on a soft chuckle. She shimmied off of Boone's hips, letting him slip from her as well, and he groaned at the sight of cum dripping down her legs. His dick made a half hearted twitch, and he was surprised how turned on he still was. Looked like a round two was going to be in order.


	8. Chapter 8

-/-/-

Eight

The sniper moved to get out of bed with a mind to wash off by the sink, but Jayne shoved him back down. "Yer not ta move," he said, his expression serious, but not mean.

Boone, more than confused, made to stand again, only to be flipped onto his stomach and pinned. "What the hell are you doing?" he demanded indignantly, beginning to struggle. This was a little too similar to his attack for his liking. He found rather quickly, however, that Jayne's sheer amount of muscle couldn't be dislodged from this angle. Damn the merc, for being so fucking fit.

"Told ya before, ya weren't allowed to cum till I said so. Ya didn't listen."

"Wha – " he grunted, feeling Jayne wrap something around his wrists as he kept him down with an elbow between his shoulder blades. "How the hell was that my fault? You – !" He stopped talking abruptly, realizing where the rest of the sentence would take him and he was completely unwilling to go there.

Jayne, however, already knew what the next words were going to be, and he couldn't help smirking as he rolled over his now captive partner. "I what? Made ya cum?"

"Made unreasonable demands," Boone growled, hoping the remark would mask the truth, but the heat was already spreading across his face and he knew he was caught.

"He's awful pretty when he's embarrassed, don'cha think?" Jayne commented to Frank, who was apparently done at the sink and heading back to the edge of the bed.

"Embarrass him much more, and he'll kill you," she warned, but didn't deny the sentiment. Boone thought about asking her to help him escape, but his pride was hurt enough as it was. He'd bide his time, see where this was going before he completely made a fool of himself.

Jayne snorted, shaking his head. "He's like ta do that anyway," he chuckled. If Boone knew what he was planning, he was sure he'd be kicked in the face by now. It was looking promising, though, now that his male partner was settling down. Now to just make sure he remained relaxed, or everything really would go to hell.

Frank considered the two men for a moment, trying to divine from their expressions what was about to happen. Eventually she shrugged. "Where do you want me?" she asked, wondering what her role was in all this.

"Don't much matter," Jayne said, not even looking at her as he leaned forward over the bound man below him. Boone tensed, not trusting the close proximity. There was a reason he was a sniper. Distance was what made him comfortable. "I'll not hurt ya," Jayne said quietly, resting a hand on his knee. "Just wanna taste 'er on ya." His grin returned. "And tease ya a little."

Boone glared at the bigger man, catching his meaning and not liking the idea at all. "Put your mouth on me, and I'll knock your teeth in," he threatened.

Jayne quirked an eyebrow. "Ya didn't mind a few minutes ago," he reminded the man. "Sides, that's part a what makes this a punishment." And without further adieu, he leaned down and scraped his teeth over Boone's collarbone. Boone grunted, hoping it was an ambiguous sound as he fought the desire his traitorous body was trying to drown him in. "Ya know how hot ya are?" Jayne murmured against his skin as his hands ghosted over the firm muscles of his abdomen. "All hard lines and tan skin."

Boone wanted nothing more than to disconnect from what he was hearing and feeling, knowing that he was beginning to quiver from the attention. This was not how he wanted to react to a man. He felt another hand brush over his forehead and he forced his eyes open. Frank was sitting on the bed above his head, gently stroking his short hair. "Let it happen, love," she encouraged. "Just let your body feel." He swallowed the lump in his throat, still not willing to give in to what was happening. Not that his body had any such confusion. He was already hard and Jayne hadn't even made it to his belly button.

Jayne seemed to have noticed this, and ran a finger up the backside of his cock, which jumped at the contact. "Ya _do_ want it," he breathed, almost in relief, which stunned Boone for a minute. Mr. Don't-cum-until-I-say-so was worried about him liking it? So this wasn't just a power trip? No, Boone had known that already…but it was good to have that confirmation. Without consciously thinking about it, his body relaxed a little.

Jayne sensed the small concession, and took full advantage. He took a deep breath and swallowed Boone to the root. He hummed, loving the familiar taste of Frank mixed in with Boone's unique flavor, and the sniper nearly screamed, bucking off the bed with his surprisingly intense desire.

Frank watched for a few moments, still stroking Boone's forehead absentmindedly, her thoughts not quite on the scene before her. She'd be lying if she said it wasn't erotic, but now that it was happening, now that implications were about to become declarations, she felt a little lost. There was something about how Jayne was worshipping this man that made her feel left out. Not in the sense that she wasn't pleasuring him as well, but that emotionally, for once, this wasn't about her. This was between the two of them, separate from how either of them felt about her.

And the lack of confusion worried her as well. She and Jayne had fought their feelings for the better part of a year, nearly hating each other before finally giving in. And even then, it was many more months before words were ever put to the feelings they'd grown to accept. But this time, it was like it had simply dawned on Jayne, what he'd known all along and he accepted it without question. Frank wondered if it was simply maturing over time, or something worse. If Jayne would come to care for Boone more than he ever cared for her. She shook her head, knowing that was a worthless train of thought. She owed these two men more than she could ever hope to return, and they both loved her despite her many faults. Besides, she was the one who had pushed for them to come to terms with each other. She would be a coward to back away from the truth now.

Boone kept his eyes screwed shut, hoping that eventually he could forget who was making him lose his mind, but damn if he knew Frank couldn't deep throat him like that. He felt Jayne's rough hands running up and down his thighs, keeping his muscles wound tight like a spring. Self loathing was obviously in the front of his mind for enjoying what was happening, but in the back of his mind… there resounded only two words.

Why?

_More_.

He hoped to God the words didn't slip past his lips.


	9. Chapter 9

-/-/-

Nine

Boone's worry turned back to panic when he felt slickness wander a little too far south. He tried to clamp his thighs together, to choke out a _No!_ but then Jayne was doing something wonderful with his tongue and his objection turned into a groan of approval as his body automatically relaxed again. Just long enough for the merc to slip a finger inside of him. He was surprised to find the pain that had accompanied his first experience was lacking this time around. His ass wasn't exactly _happy_ about the intrusion, but it wasn't full out rejecting it either.

Jayne worked quickly, never taking his mouth off the wonderful cock below him as he searched for the spot that would make all of this go smooth. He felt Boone shudder and he almost couldn't help grinning as he slipped in a second finger. Who could have guessed he'd be having two asses in one day? Cao, he was already on the edge himself just thinking about it. There was just something so much more intimate about taking someone that way.

With the help of the second finger, he curled, nailing Boone's prostrate right on the head. The sniper practically bolted upright at the sensation, a rough shout ripping from his throat. _Gorram_, he was sensitive. He pulled back with a wet slurp, mostly to make the man blush further, and waited until he looked him in the eye. "Don't cum yet," he murmured. "Wanna be in ya when it happens."

Boone shivered at the thought. This was nothing like his attack. It was difficult to even connect the two events in his mind. Still... Fingers were one thing, but Jayne was huge. He wasn't sure the pleasure would be worth the pain. "Thought you were just gonna tease me," he complained.

Jayne heard the worry in the statement, and his heart clenched. He knew Boone was stubborn, that if he didn't see this through, the man would never even give them a chance... But he couldn't force him. Not after all he'd been through the last few days. He felt the disappointment as if Boone had physically slapped him. They were so close to exploring their own third of this relationship they had with Frank. To not go to that level, when they were right there, was simply devastating. He started to pull back, an apology on the tip of his tongue, when he felt a firm but gentle hand on his shoulder stopping him.

"Tell him," Frank prodded quietly.

Jayne held her gaze, not understanding the emotion shining there. It seemed comforting, but at the same time a little sad and painful. "Tell 'm what?" he asked, confused.

"About the kiss. About what it meant." she considered him a moment. "You did understand what you did, right?"

Boone, who to this point didn't have a clue what they were talking about, was shocked to see Jayne flush and turn his head. Was he embarrassed about the kiss he'd given Boone in the heat of the moment? That couldn't possibly be as symbolic as Frank was making it out to sound.

"Couldn't stop myself. Been wantin' to fer so long, and havin' him back again..." Jayne trailed off, ducking his head, not happy about admitting a weakness like that.

"Don't tell me," Frank said. "Tell Boone."

Boone was getting impatient. More than being left out of a conversation he was quite obviously involved in, he was painfully hard and still had two fingers shoved up his ass. "Either start speaking English, or finish what you started," he groaned, shifting uncomfortably.

Jayne swallowed, meeting the sniper's eyes. "I don't kiss folk on the mouth. Not unless it means somethin'. It ain't somethin' I take lightly, neither." He hesitated, not wanting to confess to him any more than he had to Frank the first time around. But damn if he was gonna wait till Boone was dying to realize it. He'd already come close enough. "Kissin' ya, all a this...it means I love ya."

Boone's brain had to ask his ears three times if he'd heard what he thought he'd heard. Yeah, he caught the companionship they shared, the desire Jayne had for him, but love? That was not what he was expecting. His heart clenched as the idea finally sunk in. Jayne loved him. Not just his body, not just his proficiency with a firearm, the man loved _him_. Guilt swept through him, for fighting with him in the first place. This whole week could have been avoided if he'd just listened, let things unfold naturally. His eyes pricked and he had to clear his throat before finding his voice. "I'm sorry," he breathed.

Jayne thought he would have recoiled at the apology, at the rejection, but he'd seen it coming. Frank loving him was enough of a mystery. There was no way Boone would accept the feelings of a washed up old merc like him. He thought about barking out an I told you so, but he didn't trust his voice not to break right just then. As it was, he figured removing his digits from the entrance he would never again breech was the best he could manage.

"I didn't know," Boone offered lamely. "I thought...I don't even know what I thought. This wasn't something I wanted. A few years ago, I'd've been happy raising a kid with my wife in Novac. If you told me then I'd be in love with not one, but two people, not even from the same gender, I probably would have killed you on the spot."

Jayne's eyes shot up, barely daring to breathe, let alone hope. "Two people?" he gasped.

Boone lost what little talking streak he'd had, not wanting to repeat the single most mortifying admission of his life for a second time. Besides, he hadn't even known it himself until a few moments ago. But it explained his own attraction that he'd hated so much. It made sense if he cared about Jayne, and now that he knew it wouldn't be one sided, he could allow himself to.

But that didn't mean gushy proclamations and lengthy confessions. He snapped his mouth shut, and simply gave a curt nod in answer to the question. The look of joy on Jayne's face had about two nanoseconds to register before the merc hollered and tackled him, whooping like an idiot.

Frank smiled to herself, neither man noticing when she got up, put on her Chinese silk robe, and started up the ladder. She had a feeling they would be able to stay occupied for quite some time. Meanwhile, she was going to put on a pot of tea.

Shutting the hatch as quietly as she could, despite the noise Jayne was in the middle of, she turned, and was surprised to find the captain watching her. "That looks like a mighty pleased grin ya got there, merc. You wouldn't be up to any mischief, would you?"

Her grin spread into a genuinely happy smile. "Not at this particular moment, captain. Seems I've already accomplished some, though."

Mal raised an eyebrow. "I'm thinking I don't wanna know," he said cautiously. He had a feeling that if he went down there, he'd find both his other mercs chained to the bulkhead, scrubbing the floor with soapy water. He dared never tell Frank this, but he sometimes thought she would run a tighter ship than even himself.

"Probably not, no," Frank agreed, walking with him towards the galley. "Feel like joining me for a hot drink?"

"Mm, now that does sound like something I'm interested in," he said, a devilish grin gracing his lips. "Got a couple ideas to discuss about the upcoming job, too."

The two fell into a comfortable dialogue, the men in the bunk almost completely forgotten.


	10. Chapter 10

-/-/-

Ten

Boone allowed Jayne a few minutes of holding him tightly and kissing him like crazy before forcing them to come up for air. "Much as I'm enjoying this, my arms are falling asleep," he muttered against Jayne's temple. The merc chuckled and sat up again, looking long and hard at the body splayed beneath him. Boone squirmed under the scrutiny as his face heated, though in reality it had never cooled down.

"Guess I could letcha go," Jayne grinned, pulling the sniper into a sitting position as well. Staring into his eyes, he reached around Boone, pressing their bare chests together as he loosened the ties around his partner's wrists. Once free, he took the man's hands and placed them on his own waist, encouraging Boone to touch him. He could feel both their pulses racing now.

Boone hesitated. He hated being in uncharted territory. Tentatively, he smoothed his hands up Jayne's chest, realizing for the first time just how _expansive_ it was. The man was the size of a continent. He knew it was childish, but he didn't like that he literally didn't measure up to this man. Being two inches shorter, his proportions were slight in comparison; more lean than skinny, but that wasn't the point.

What he _did_ like, however, was the wonderful sigh his hands drew out of that chest as he fanned his fingers over ribs and collarbones. Jayne's eyes slid closed, his own hands absentmindedly massaging the sharp angles of Boone's hips. It continued to amaze him that they could react to each other this way.

Jayne shook his head. It weren't fair that he was nearly undone already and all the man had done was touch his chest. Course, it was more that he was _willingly_ touching Jayne's chest than just the touching him part, but still. This would not be over until he was buried balls deep inside Boone. Without warning, he pulled him close, descending into another passionate kiss.

Boone didn't fight this time as he found himself being pushed backward until Jayne was lying on top of him. The weight wasn't restraining, it was comforting. It still scared the shit out of him, since he wasn't used to wanting that, but he did his best to shut off his brain as Jayne attempted to suck his tonsils out through his mouth. Blood was rushing from all corners of his body to that one spot that had never really gone soft in all this, and he was grateful that his body was so thoroughly distracted.

Feeling the man beneath him begin to tremble, Jayne disengaged just long enough to slip a hand between them and latch his lips onto that ever-tempting throat. When his fingers curled around the throbbing member, he groaned loudly, grinding his pelvis into the eager flesh. "Boone," he moaned, the lust thickening and deepening his voice.

Boone shuddered, never imagining that his name could sound like that. But that wasn't really right. "Craig," he gasped before he could stop himself.

Jayne propped himself up on an elbow so he could look into Boone's eyes. "Craig?" he repeated. For a moment, he worried that Boone was calling out someone else's name, but his previous aversion to anything sly made him think otherwise.

Boone turned his face, embarrassed. "Boone is my last name. My first name is Craig."

Jayne was dumbfounded for a minute, confused and a little pissed. "H'come we've been in the same _gorram_ bed fer near on six months and I'm just now hearin' about it?"

"No one but Carla ever called me Craig," the man mumbled, still not looking at him.

Carla? As in the dead wife he never _ever_ talked about Carla? The one he still kinda mourned when he thought they weren't looking Carla? "Not even Frank?" Jayne clarified.

"I told her, but she just scrunched up her nose and said her uncle's name was Craig and that was just creepy, so she stuck with Boone. I never minded, really." It would be nice, though, to be reminded that he really did have a first name. Most days he was worried he'd forget it if he didn't purposefully think about it from time to time.

No way. There was no way in the rutting 'verse Jayne could be that special. To be put on the same level as Boone's - Craig's - wife, was incomprehensible - and yes, he knew what that meant. Swallowing hard, he slid off the sniper enough to pull his pants - and why in the hell's fire was he still _wearing_ them - fully off. He didn't say a word as he began prepping his partner's entrance again, lifting a leg and draping it over his shoulder as he worked his fingers inside.

Boone wasn't sure what had come over Jayne, or why he suddenly went quiet and serious. Was he upset that he hadn't told him his name sooner? The gentleness in which the merc was touching him didn't seem like it was done out of anger, though. Soon he stopped caring what Jayne was thinking, and lost himself to the wonderful sensations being ripped from his body. Fuck yes, this was a thousand times better that he'd imagined it would be. He had to fight tooth and nail to hold on before Jayne could get inside him. He would not lose this time. "_Jayne_," he finally ground out, moving against the fingers still stretching him as he buried his own in Jayne's hair. "_Hurry_."

Jayne needed no further encouragement. In one swift move, he'd pulled his fingers out and leaned forward, a leg now over each of his shoulders. He grinned to himself, knowing he was about to test out just how flexible the sniper really was. He lined up his cock and pushed in in one smooth thrust.

Boone screwed his eyes shut and cried out, but it wasn't all in pain. Yeah, it was harder than hell not to remember that the last time something that big was in his ass it was for the sole purpose of hurting him, but at the same time, this felt completely different. The intent wasn't the same, and he was amazed at the difference that made. "Fuck," he choked out, gripping the sheets beneath him as if they were his only tether to reality.

Jayne chuckled, leaning over him. "Thought I already was," he said with a grin. "Lessen yer saying ta move."

Boone groaned, not understanding how Jayne could be cracking a joke at a time like this. "Not. Yet," he breathed. He was teetering on the edge of something, and he didn't know whether it was going to split him in two or not.

Jayne understood the discomfort and sobered. He softly traced his fingers over Boone's abdomen before stroking him, happy he was still hard at least. He leaned down slowly, so as not to move too much inside him, before pressing their mouths together. He still felt Boone tense, though, so he leaned back a bit and shushed him. "S' alright, Craig," he said softly enough that it surprised even him. "Jus' let it pass," he murmured.

Boone forced himself to finally look at Jayne, his chest tightening when he heard his name like that. He realized he had stopped breathing and had to drag air into his lungs on a ragged gasp. Emotion threatened to drown him then, and he tried like hell to keep his face dry. "I'm a fool," he said. No amount of torture would get him to admit that he clung to Jayne in that moment, but calling it holding didn't really change the fact.

"Nah," Jayne soothed, running his hand over Boone's forehead. "A little slow, maybe," he laughed, "but ya ain't a fool."

Boone didn't agree, but he remained silent. If he hadn't run screaming from this the way he had, maybe this wouldn't have meant as much, but a lot of people were dead or hurt over his own stupid pride. Because he couldn't admit even to himself that he'd fallen in love with a man. With this man. He cleared his throat, finding his voice again. "Move," he breathed.

Jayne let out a sigh of relief as he canted his hips into Boone. Staying still like that was hell, but as Boone started moaning and rising up to meet him, it was _so_ worth it. That tight heat was amazing, and _gorram_ it, he wasn't going to last. He fisted Boone's cock, working it in time with his thrusts, which he was systematically angling to hit Boone's prostate. After half a dozen tries, he nailed it, and the sniper practically howled at the sensation.

If Boone thought Jayne would be merciful at that point, he was sorely mistaken. Once he found it, the merc didn't stop pounding into that spot that sent him careening towards oblivion. He felt his mouth moving, but his ears were too busy trying to hear the fireworks behind his eyes to tell him what he was saying._ Craig Craig Craig Craig_ was all that was going through his mind, like Jayne was willing the name into him whether he was saying it aloud or not.

Finally, the merc reached his limit. "Now, Craig," he huffed, fighting the end, if only for a few more moments. "Cum fer me now!"

Boone found that his body had no qualms listening to that order, and with a deep groan, he shot his hot seed between them. His high seemed to last forever, and at one point, he thought he would pass out before coming down. He felt Jayne jerk against him as his own orgasm hit, the hot splash inside him adding to his own sense of euphoria.

Jayne had the sense to move Boone's legs from off his shoulders before collapsing on the man, but that was about all he could think of besides _holy rutting hell that was amazing_. "Frank's gonna be pissed she missed out on this," he sighed, rolling onto his side with a wolffish grin. Self satisfied was the word.

Boone bolted up, scanning the room. "When the hell did she leave?" he asked a little more frantically than he meant to. He had zero recollection of her departure.

Jayne shrugged. "Dunno 'zactly, jus' that she wasn't there when I got on top a ya. Wouldn't worry too much, I'm sure she'll join in next time."

The reference to a next time had Boone flushing again. Confessions aside, this was still very new to him. The possibilities, though... So many new positions just opened up to them now that Frank wasn't the only one who had to be in the middle. If he hadn't just had two of the most amazing orgasms of his life, he'd be getting hard again, just at the idea. He was kind of glad none of them were in their twenties anymore.

They'd never come up for air at that point.


	11. Epilogue

-/-/-

Epilogue

Frank nearly snorted as her two partners entered the common area where she was having tea with the captain. Kaylee and Simon had joined them as well, trading stories of misadventures. Jayne had a crazy happy smile on his face that kind of reminded her of the first time he'd shown her the cunning hat his ma had sent him. And Boone was trying _very_ hard not to limp as he made his way down the stairs.

Simon, being the trauma surgeon that he is, didn't fail to notice the limp and cursed, shaking his head. "You have got to be kidding me," he groaned, setting down his mug. Kaylee caught on and started to giggle. Mal just figured his brain was trying to implode and didn't even attempt to process what he thought he was seeing.

Boone turned five different shades of red and quickly took the spot on the couch next to Frank, only to wince as he did so. If anything, Jayne looked even more pleased. There was silence for a moment, if only because everyone was simultaneously able to not laugh. Boone did not handle it. "Yeah, he fucked me, alright?" he exclaimed. "Not the worst thing that's happened this week."

Simon was exasperated. "That's it," he grumbled. "As the physician on this ship, I insist that you learn to curb your enthusiasm, Jayne. I refuse to treat any more tears in my friends' anuses just because you can't control yourself."

There was another silence, awkward this time, before Mal shot to his feet. "I can't know that!" he yelled before turning heel and making for the bridge.

Kaylee stood too, saying,"Me neither," as she plugged her ears and started deconstructing Serenity's engine in her head to block any mental images that might cause her to go blind or pass out. Simon huffed as they left, feeling they had no right to feel disgusted when he was the one that had to give the treatment. As it was, he and the three lovers were now the only ones still left in the room.

"Um," Boone started, not sure 'embarrassed' even covered it anymore, "he didn't tear me. I pulled my hamstring." He and Jayne hadn't discovered it until Boone started to climb out of the bed and he just about fell over. Apparently Boone wasn't all that flexible after all, but the heat of the moment blocked the pain until it was over. Jayne had thought it was hilarious, and felt the smack he got in return for laughing was well worth it.

Simon continued to look skeptical, and Jayne really couldn't help himself. "If yer not inclined ta believe 'm, I could show ya what my 'enthusiasm' could do ta ya," he drawled with a wink and a grin.

"No!" all three of them said in unison.


End file.
